Life

Anonymous

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Child

Mr. Menace

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

Crash

Scott

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia

Building

Osama Bin Laden

Q: how come in airports,they park the planes outside? A: they don’t belong in buildings

5

Twin Towers

Hi

September 11 bring your plane to work day

Priest

Anonymous

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

Die

Hangy boi

Teacher: Ok class I’m going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don’t worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.

3

Time

groundwork

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Twin Towers

dark humor

i saw identical twins. i threw a paper plane at them.

1

Twin Towers

Osame bin laden

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head

3

Shooting

dontask

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

9

Sally

Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

9

Air

kangaroo

It was dinner in the plane and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner "What are my choices?"the passenger said.? “Yes or No,” the flight attendant replied.

Twin Towers

USSR Soldier

In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.

1

Twin Towers

Anonymous

Why were the people in the twin towers sad? They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane.

8

Crash

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911…both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

Twin Towers

Lick me Succ me

whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

0

Twin Towers

Cyber

What did the twin towers mom say when she fed them, open wide honey here comes the air plane

911

yeskatrinayes

cmon guys 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong