Suicide attempt

Suicide attempt jokes

Hospital

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

Attempt

Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.

My attempt in 2021.

And my attempt this year.

Depression

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.

Parent

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Advice

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

Misfortune

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Community

Ok, I need to make some things straight. This site has gone into chaos because of this stupid stuff that’s been going on, so right now I’m only gonna tell the facts. No stupid false stuff, no fluff, nothing. You guys need to understand what happened. A week ago, I attempted scuicide by overdose via Benadryl and a mix of other random opioids. This was around 7:55 AM EST. I passed out, making a big banging sound, awak… Read more

Ways I almost died (in order)

-Almost got attacked by large snake -Almost shot by gun in my head (I believe an event like that would make me more open minded) -Caught GOKART on fire and flipped it over while I was in it -Suicide attempt #1 -#2 -#3 -#4 -#5