I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
What if your Corona Test is neutral?
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight- nothing
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
Chuck Norris and Time had a race...
Result: Time is still running...
I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy
“Oh daddy,” the kid said. “I love you so much!” “Hey,” the man responded. “Until we get the DNA test results, I’m just Harry to you!”
Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's.". The old man says "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George"
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of google search results
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic. Next, google 'God in Aramaic'. See the results for yourself. <3
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death? The HIV test results.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
my therapist told me time heals all wounds. so I stabbed him.
then I waited for the results.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking.
