Result jokes
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
i searched overweight car instead of overweight cat-
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.