A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
What do you say after committing incest?
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again I almost killed myself
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
If a person shoot’s a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, “Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?” The librarian replied, “no you’d never bring it back!”
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”
Go commit neck rope
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
“When Republicans do Politics, it’s a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it’s Politics.” —Tyler Nixon
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi’s concerts… I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide
So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.
How did a blonde commit suicide
She jumped from the basement window
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, “2 years, 2 side-hoes.” She got an old lexus. The second lady says, “10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute.” She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, “Fck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, “I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse.” “How!?” The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a dck!”