Commitment jokes
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
What do you say after committing incest? No Chromo!
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
Balls deep.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
I saw three people online on this site... Hope you guys will commit suicide tonight.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.