Trump

WhiteShadowYT

I was rooting for Donald trump to be president We havnt had a presidential assassination in a while

JFK

Anonymous

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Darkness

Nellie

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

America

Anonymous

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Bad

F...

I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

Means

Anonymous

After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter… … from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren’t able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6’s help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.

Sister

Tanner Pomeranz

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”

“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”

The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”

“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

Politics

Anonymous

hillary for president

Girl

Anonymous

There are 4 people ona plane while its crashing and there are only 3 parachutes theres opera, Obama a little girl and, Trump opera grabs. Parachute and says, “I’m famous i get one” And Trump grabs one and says, “Well im president of cource i get one” and obama looks at the little girl and says, “Since your the future or our generation take the last one” the little girl hugs obama and says, “Actually we can both have one Trump took my backpack”

Trump

Anonymous

DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT (is the biggest joke)

Name

A Random Person

when i try to call my friend i can’t get through because my name is Lin Kon and the operator Keeps saying yes Mr president

Politics

Anonymous

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the united states James Earl Carter? read the label on the jar of skippy peanut butter

America

Anonymous

what do you say when trumps is still president during 2020? magic

Trump

london

donald trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.

Jail

Morgan

Which president has never gone to jail… Lincoln because he’s in a cent get it innocent in a cent

Fire

Anonymous

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks. This is God’s clock. It never moved because he never lied. This is your clock. It move 3 times because you lied 3 times i asked where is President trumps clock. he said it was at the equator. Spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true

Man

Anonymous

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I’m so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, “I’ve parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers.” He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

“I’m the greatest leader of the world and I’ll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging.” Tony jumps off.

Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir’s and Xi’s for me." Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. “Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I’m the smartest woman in the whole world in history.” Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: “I’m an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I’ve become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I’ve made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I’ve played more golf and …”

Greta interrjected, “Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let’s go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!”

Name

clockwork

God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay… Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea… G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.

Trump

Anonymous

he do American fell like trump is the president he is stuip like soup

Laugh

Wkwkland

Who’s the cutest president in the world? Kim jong unchh💕💕💕

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