President jokes

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.

What do you call an orange on a small stick?

Donald Trump.

what happens when the president turns emo?

the great depression.

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?

A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.