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A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex… I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him “sir are you drunk?” The man responds “No sir i’m not drunk.” So the Officer asks “how high are you?” And the man responds “no sir, its high how are you.”

Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.

Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five?

Logan Paul left him hanging

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. – He was high on my list of priorities.

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Why Did The Columbine High School Basketball Team Lose The Big Game? Because They Lost Their Two Best Shooters…

All school meetings introductions:

Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,”

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

do you know who didn’t graduate high school this year?

the Parkland kids

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

what do you call a down syndrome who graduated high school? impossible

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet it is a shame he could not create a longer lasting battery.