Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. – He was high on my list of priorities.
Why Couldn’t the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him “sir are you drunk?” The man responds “No sir i’m not drunk.” So the Officer asks “how high are you?” And the man responds “no sir, its high how are you.”
When a miget smokes weed do they get high or medium
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I’ve just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
Why can’t people in wheelchairs pass high school? The pacer test.
The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging
Why Did The Columbine High School Basketball Team Lose The Big Game? Because They Lost Their Two Best Shooters…
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.