Rubber Jokes

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.

What does an asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

Some Ting Wheely Wong

What's The Difference Between A Rubber And Micheal Jackson? Nothing, Kids Tounch Them Both.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets. This being the case, he ought to produce, direct and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad.” 👌 😉

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.

... I guess her rubber broke too

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

Ones a good year the others a great year!

what do a bike and a rubber duck have in common, they both have a handlebar except for the duck.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common? They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders