Rubber jokes

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

Oh God By Dixie Rect.

Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

I hate rubber.

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.

Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.

What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.

I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.

So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.