Rubber jokes

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

What do you call someone with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?

Because it got pissed off!

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Rubber-toe.