Privacy jokes

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

What does a dead baby look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Stephen Hawking isn’t dead, he’s just using VPN.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.

and found that in all the videos his father is...

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

What do asses and secrets have in common?

Both are better when not leaked!

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.