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Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

what do we want plane noises when do we need it neeooooooowwwww

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave

What noise does Steven hawkings make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises. I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs so I don’t know why they do it

I will always remember the last noise i hear in my school, “oogga booga motherf****rs,” click, boom

Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:… You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids.

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make

What noise did Steven Hawkings make when he died? Windows Shutting down

Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

what noise does Sally like to say? Splat

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: “Stop pirating video games.” Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

How did the Asian couple name their child? They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.

Your maw *micorsoft shuting down noise *

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

I woke up one night to a strange noise and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents room. I looked inside and counted, ok one two three finger men and my mom so nothing out of the ordinary so then I checked my sisters room. And I counted 4 other women in the room but then I realized that he sound was coming from right in front of me it was my dad giving me a bj the whole time.

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let’s go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it’s early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" Lauren hears noise Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: laughs Lauren: remembers her boyfriend is Karen’s brother Mikey

I got pranked so many times once I saw two wheels rolling down the street I hear this noise I look behind me there’s a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming "HELP I CANT GO ANYWERE’’ but I walked away I knew it was a prank

I awoke in the middle of the night, to the sound of a thunderous pounding noise. The house was literally three rooms small so i could pinpoint the sound fairly easy, It was coming from Johns room, it was then i realized that Lewis and Kian were gone, it was then i noticed the huge hole in the wall which was sticky to the touch. I put my eye to hole to take a peek, it was met by a chode with ginger pubes, i recoiled instantly. I tried to make a run for it to make it downstairs i then remembered there was no downstairs. I made it to the hallway to find my escape blocked by no other than john with kian at his flank. He whispered “Its ok Oliver Hebden-Smith, your safe now” Kian proceeded to advance on my position i ducked and rolled to evade his grasp, his wart and spot covered hands brushing my skin. Kian fell over after running towards me and had an asthma attack. John was still in my way he looked almost angry now. “YOU KINKY SHIT” he bellowed. Out of nowhere i felt arms around me i turned to discover it was Mr Murphy. I broke from Mr Murphy’s grasp to make it the the front door. As i made my way to escape I ran into my worst nightmare, the door flung open and standing there in all their glory was Kians two fat lesbo neighbours. They charged at me trying to take me down. I could hear her neck snap as i drop kicked the first one. I then disposed of the blind one by triple power bombing her. With them out of the equation i dashed to the door. John was too fast and swiftly made it to the door , the locked it with key then shoved it up Lewis’s butchin. John looked pissed now. John lunges at me. Suffocating me in his vice like grip. He carried me to his room while he chanted “Your safe now”. Borthwick poked his head out and said “nice of you to join us” i said croakly “f... off borthwick look at your trim.” Borthwick then looked at the ground sadly and lonely and left Kian’s. Sadly my fate did not end the same as John chained me up in his room. While in johns room i could hear the distant screams of the children he must be keeping below, by the sounds of it they were infants. “Oh im gonna punish you boy” John said as he brushed his foreskin against my chest. He then walked away and asked me … “ye want some crisps”. He came back with 4 packets of cheese and onion and shoved each individual crisp either up my arse or down my japs eye. While i was recovering from this severe pain he continously rubbed his bellend on my nostril. He then took my off the wall and tied me to the table. He then trimmed his toenails and threw the clippings at me. I was disgusted beyond belief and had been crying for a long time. Then a last hope appeared, i got a phone call from Jimbo Simpson i answered and screamed for help. Jimbo came charging like a bull within seconds braking down the door. I gave my battle cry “Sticky to the touch” so jimbo could instantly locate me. He took down john and devoured in one bite. He threw me out the window. I had finally escaped.

If, Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money. P.S… The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to ‘When You Wish Upon A Window’, with the castle being the Blue Peter ship, instead.