Privacy jokes
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
What is the biggest lie ever?
"I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions."
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Where is this pic of me in my bra?
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.