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A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

I got mad at my sister’s boyfriend so I f...ed his girl

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

Feel my shirt…it’s boyfriend material

A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her p..... He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?

Why did my boyfriend leaves me ?
Because he’s gay. But why did he come back to me ?

Because im actually a guy :-)

Whats pink, 6 inches long and makes my boyfriend scream when I put it in his mouth? My aborted fetus.

If your boyfriends doesn’t get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

alright my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time and what i say is go get you boyfriend dude

Knock knock, who’s their? Europe, Europe who? No i’m not

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort’s. Thats nothing once we we’re in the kitchen I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!

Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?

Mom: no that’s impossible

Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right

Mom: no no please don’t tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you

Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^

👌😂😂😂