Boyfriend jokes
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
When you cheat on your boyfriend with 6 other guys, those 6 other guys outside your door:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.