Boyfriend Jokes

Person

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

7
Flamingo
in Puns

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

1
❤️ Tara ❤️
in Girlfriend

Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: your both!

Girlfriend: what do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

Anonymous
in Puns

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

0
video games
in Puns

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

DarkJoker

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

Tanner Pomeranz
in Football

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

Foreshadow011
in Death

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

9
Ayyyyyy

Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Anonymous

I got mad at my sister’s boyfriend so I fucked his girl

8
Anonymous
in Orphan

Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend? To finally call someone Daddy!

TikTok @cael_sanderson
in Pickup

Feel my shirt…it’s boyfriend material

Anonymous

My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

My bff asked me: “You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?” I said: “Why?” My bff says: “Well its because he was already cheating.” I said: “KNEW IT!”

Ima Hooker
in Date

Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

Zane

So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

Ryen Roberts

A hill billy female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

octavius

like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.

Anonymous321

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.