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Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?

Why did my boyfriend leaves me ?
Because he’s gay. But why did he come back to me ?

Because im actually a guy :-)

Whats pink, 6 inches long and makes my boyfriend scream when I put it in his mouth? My aborted fetus.

If your boyfriends doesn’t get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

alright my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time and what i say is go get you boyfriend dude

Knock knock, who’s their? Europe, Europe who? No i’m not

This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar. An hour or so goes, then the new flame says, I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice,food is great, but what’s up with the monkey way down there? His friend ok, Watch this. He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool,pulls down his zipper and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin,cleaned himpulled up his zipper then jumped to his chair. Walked back to his new gay friend and said what do you think of that? MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that! His squeeze said wanna give it a try? I sure do, JUST DON’T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey. how’s that?

my boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and a I still have to ask him thinks like that becuae i so distraked from him

I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he’d be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.

My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock, I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick but he said it doesn’t taste that bad so I’ll give it a shot

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f…ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".

I like my women how I like my fridge.

In the kitchen.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, " knife to meet you."

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist

I asked my zombie boyfriend does he have a Brian Because he’s stupid asf

After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: “I Zora Cock!”

my wife told me to give give her 8 inches so i had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose

so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f...ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".