Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the coroner.

“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” asks the inspector.

“He thought he was having his picture taken.”

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked what you drawing? I saod you taking a shower.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it’s family?

A self-fie

I’m a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?” “Yes” “Did you hang ‘em?”

What kind of family pictures do orphans take?

Selfies!!

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you’re a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder You’re bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire. How about yours? That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see So what’s wrong with taking the back streets? You’ll never know if you don’t go You’ll never shine if you don’t glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

You no your ugly when you git handed the cameras every time your frind’s have a group picture.

Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?

On a website.

My boy I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now! draws a picture of his “epic” sword “what…WHAT… WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN’T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!”

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕

Do you know why jesus is so popular with the ladies?? Haven’t you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this… 🤚--------🤪----------✋

Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, “Oh FUCK yeah!”

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