Vision jokes
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
I wish I was blind.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."