A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore? guardian of the confessional booth
Why do they do glow in the dark comdoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
What does the penis say to the condom? Cover me I'm going inside
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What do you call an owl 🦉 with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a good year and ones a great year
Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows
Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!
The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.
The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.
The condom just sitting there laughing.
I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away
