A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore? guardian of the confessional booth
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why do they do glow in the dark comdoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
Two brothers play on the street, one of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is they go to their mum and asks what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately. Guys go back to the yard surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: why did mum got so angry, the other: i have no idea thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote " don't be dumb make sure they're numb and always use a condom!"
What does the penis say to the condom? Cover me I'm going inside
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
My dad brought me some sunglasses but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The little camel asks his mother: Mum why do we have these big humps? Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink. And mum. Why do we have this large fur? Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don’t feel cold. And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs. Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot sand. But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?
What do you call an owl 🦉 with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone
