Spy jokes
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.