What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Priest Jokes
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
you.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
