Priest jokes
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?
Father Les.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
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A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.