Priest jokes
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
you.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"