Priest Jokes

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

priest

Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he's an alter boy

Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar

How does a priest purify water?

Boil the hell out of it

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

How to you trick a catholic priest into using the glory hole at a adult bookstore? tell him it is a confessional booth

Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It's the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front poker in the back!!

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he’s looking for two child molesters.

Catholic priests looking at each other: We’ll do it!

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.