Priest jokes
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.
The priest is in jail now.
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
you.