Priest Jokes

What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.


what does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common they both ask people “WHERES THE MEAT!”


What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?” The priest says, “Because I’m a father.” Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.” The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children.” Johnny says, “You should wear your fuckin’ trousers backwards.”

when some one got the ghost in them. sound in the priest busters. when something strange and it ain’t no who you ganna call priest busters.


When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It’s the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.


Do you know where priests go at night???

To all night sale a boys r us

What’s the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.


what kind of sex do priest love…nun

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they’d given to their elderly mum.

‘I built a big house for our mum,’ said the first.

‘I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,’ said the second.

And the third smiled and said, ‘I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren’t so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.’

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

‘The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.’

To the second son she said, ‘I’m far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I’ve hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.’

To the third son she wrote ‘Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!’


Q: What’s the difference between me and a priest. A: a priest isn’t turned on by dead children.


What to gift a child molester , who already has everything ? A bigger county with more believers


What’s the difference between a drill and a priest? Nothing they both like screwing stuff!


my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo

in Bar

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink


What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

in Adult

Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar


i am dark humour


Whats the difference between a priest and McDonalds?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.