When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
In preschool, i confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as i was, i sucked it up and went back to teaching.
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
Why was baptism invented. How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys.
What do you call a private nun.
Nun-o-yo-business
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent
Guys help- i need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being fr rn guys help
i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: "so u like girls" i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??
a Priest says to me come up my child then i said do i know you because your not my father
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
My bum hurts
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-&-Tell.
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
Three nuns had to go before mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says have you sinned? Yes I have mother I have stolen a bicycle. Okay said mother Superior okay said mother Superior say 100 holy Marys and put dip your hand in the holy water... Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned she slept with a married man.. so mother Superior says okay save 500 hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way the third nun comes up and she says I peed in the holy water 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
whats the best way to get a man to confess to a rape? ask him to tell a rape joke
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says "doctor I have a confession". The doctor asks "what is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis". The doctor looks at her and asks "anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies "no, just a penis".
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian don’t bother me none babe Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine! “hol up”
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired"
aaron and ben meet on grinder [they have a drink and have sex they wake up in the morning in bed aaron says im so glad i got it out ben relys what oh just the HIV
when your girlfriend tells you shes a guy "what bitch naw hell no"
