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    Confession Jokes

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    In preschool, i confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as i was, i sucked it up and went back to teaching.

    A catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession and while he is inside the confessional booth the catholic priest is sucking his dick and he says to the catholic priest what are you doing father and the priest says it's called giving a blowjob and the catholic gay male says why are you giving me a blowjob father inside the confessional booth? and the catholic priest says if there was no glory hole in the confessional booth my son it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place

    A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit

    A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies. "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks," the man replies. "I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues. "OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in. "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. "It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off. "Yes it is," replies the man. "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks. "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. "Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed. The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy. "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says

    There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.

    Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"

    Priest, "how so?"

    Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"

    Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"

    Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"

    Then Matt walks out the door

    Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

    Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"

    Father awaits the birth of his first child. The obstetrician: "Unfortunately he has no arms". "I'll love it all the same". But the obstetrician adds: "It is also without legs, trunk, head". "I'll love it all the same". Then the obstetrician confessed to him: "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born". "I'll love it all the same". And the obstetrician: "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!".

    Why does the catholic church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth? so a priest give a anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man or a gay man or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession

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    A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says "doctor I have a confession". The doctor asks "what is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis". The doctor looks at her and asks "anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies "no, just a penis".

    Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said "Honey, I flat chested. The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex. The next day, the wife said "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."...

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    Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired"

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