Priest jokes
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Priest
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!