Priest jokes
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Priest
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.