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Toilet Paper

John cena

Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?

It got stuck in a crack

Head

Anonymous

Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!

Animal

Anonymous

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

Puns

N

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

Movie

Jake From State Farm

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation? You: No Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!

Toilet Paper

Anonymous

Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves…today was the tip of the iceberg

Legs

Anthony

A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p?" “running down my leg”

Finger

Mini Marshmallow

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it’s finger licken’ good!

Toilet Paper

Annabelle

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!

Puns

Anonymous

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt-quack.

Trouble

Anonymous

When you have a bladder infection

Urine trouble 😜

Time

Paul Bartram

I got in touch with my inner self today, it’s the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll

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Pencil

Mini Marshmallow

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

Toilet Paper

Alaina

What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? “I feel really wiped.”

Puns

Anonymous

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road Because it was stuck in a crack

People

Anonymous

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the corona virus? When someone sneezes every one shits they’re pants

Girl

Allan

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

“And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”

Flush

Jake from State Farm

Me: What did one toilet say to the other? You: What? Me: You look flushed!

Helen

Anonymous

How do You punish helen keller.

You leave the plunger in the toilet.

Hand

Anonymous

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

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