Toilet jokes
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!