Toilet jokes
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.
When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.