Toilet jokes
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
HOLY CRAP!!!
Crap with holes in it.
Get it? HOLE - Y?
Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.