Target jokes

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Damn, I love being a sniper.

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Why does the military recruit orphans?

Because homing missiles don’t target them.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.