10+ Best Priest Memes - Worst Jokes Ever

Kid

Two rhinos are in the middle of mating with the word "priests" over the one on top, and "kids" over the one on the bottom, a photographer is taking photos of them and the text above him says "upset Christians", in the top right corner it reads "Olympics ceremony".

Difference

The image shows two pictures side by side. The left picture shows a smiling priest in a black robe holding a book. The right picture is of Woody, a toy character from the movie "Toy Story" with his distinctive cowboy hat. Above the pictures, text reads, "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PRIEST AND WOODY?" Below the pictures, the text continues with "WOODY GOES LIMP WHEN A CHILD ENTERS THE ROOM!"

Doctor

A doctor in a white coat is examining a child. The doctor's hands are on the child's forehead and he has a tool in his hand. The child has his mouth open and looks scared. The text says "Just relax Timmy... I'm your doctor, not your priest..."

Wood

A meme displaying five different options labeled A through E of items that can be chosen as a loadout. The text says, "You're being hunted in the woods at night by an unknown cryptid. Choose your loadout." Option A shows an assault rifle, body armor, a knife, and a pistol. Option B shows 5 silhouettes of men and weapons like torches, pitchforks and a baseball bat. Option C shows two priests, a cross, holy water and two lanterns. Option D shows three dogs, a gun, a bracelet, and a flashlight. Option E shows a muscular man, viagra, alcohol, and other random items.

Face

Two muscular arms are shown in a handshake. One arm is dark, and labeled with the text 'Acne'. The other arm is light red, and labeled with the text 'Priests'. Above their linked hands, it says 'Coming on children's faces'.

Woody

A picture shows a priest on the left and Woody from Toy Story on the right. The text on the image asks, "What's the difference between a priest and Woody?" The punchline is below: "Woody goes limp when a child enters the room!"

Baptism

COVID was a different ERA

Inside a church, a couple holds a baby dressed in white for a baptism. A priest, wearing a surgical mask and dressed in white vestments, stands across the baptismal font, pointing a pink, handheld sprayer or squirt gun at the baby to administer the water from a distance. The text reads: "This was the most insane stage of the pandemic."

Wheel

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Toaster

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

Neighbor

Neighbor

The image is a four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a priest at a pulpit says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." In the second panel, a woman waves at a man from her car and says, "Hello neighbor." In the third panel, the woman yells, "You fucking moron." at the man. In the fourth panel, the man yells at the woman, "You worthless piece of human shit."

Shrek

A cartoon illustration shows Shrek, a green, ogre-like character, wearing a wedding dress adorned with insect patterns and a purple suit, holding a cactus bouquet. He stands next to a crocodile dressed in a patterned robe, holding a book, appearing to officiate a wedding. The text below reads: "Shrek decided to marry whatever this thing is. No priest would officiate because God hated Shrek for being alive, so they used a crocodile."

Jokes

Rabbi

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Father

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

Masturbation

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."