Priest jokes
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Your life.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What are priests' favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.