Priest jokes
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.