What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
