Kind jokes
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
Kindly yeet someone!
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.