Baptism jokes
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.