Politics

Politics jokes

Vote

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

Communist

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

Nazi

What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?

The blond survived.

Skin

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

Hole

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Moment

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Sex position

My favorite sex position is the JFK:

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.

War

You will never see a redneck opposing a war.

He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"

Feminist

How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?

Just take out his brain and there you go!

Christian nationalist

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Gas

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.