Politics jokes
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Make America hate again.
He wasn't that bad.
Sometimes presidents lose their minds as they get older into their presidency. A good example of this is JFK. He lost his mind everywhere.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?
Tell him the truth.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.