Politics jokes
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
If you don't have big Nyash,
Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Why can’t Hitler join the track? Because he can’t even finish a race.
Bush is innocent, he's white...
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Biden did 9/10.
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
Being pro-life.
How many times was Osama bin Laden shot?
911 times.