Politics jokes

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.

If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...

Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map of North America.

"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.

The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.

"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"

The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.

"Where is Germany again, Father?"

He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.

Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."

"Yes?"

"Has Hitler seen this map?"

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂

Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.

Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?

Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

He jizzes canned cheese.

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Why is suicide illegal?

Because it destroys government property.

Politics.