*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Heil Kyle!
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
Labor party.
