Politics jokes
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Biden
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?
Trump's dead Russian mates.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.