Politics jokes

Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."

The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."

The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!

Best political joke... Joe Biden.

"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon

How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.

How do you spell "cognitive mess?"

J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.

Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!

Your move, Ron DeSantis.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.

What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."

You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"