A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

my grandpa has a world record for holding his breathe… hes been holding it for 6 years.

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds

Where can you find some of the world’s largest vegetables? – In an American nursing home.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

yo mama’s so stupid she got locked in Matress World and slept on the floor.

People are making end of the world jokes, like there’s no tomorrow.

What’s the most expensive haircut in the world ? Chemotherapy

I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.

But it was only on paper view.

Some day, Canada will take over the world. – And then we’ll all be sorry.

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.

How is the world like dirt?Because we don’t think twice about it.

the gayest person in the world is pacman. you can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

The more people who like to eat tide pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

if stephen hawking is diying where do i take him currys pc world or hospital

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. – Then the librarian told me to take it out.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

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