Citizenship jokes

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?

One has papers.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

What is a Mexican's only obstacle?

Border patrol.

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all of the green cards.

Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.

Why are Mexicans good at Uno?

They always steal the green card.

Yo mama's so fat, brexshit is deporting British citizens.

What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?

The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.

Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?

Because he's British.

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?

If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.