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How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?¨

You reply with: ¨Surrounded by friends¨

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )

What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?

Roman noodles

What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

What did Caesar’s cat say to him?

Nothing. Cats don’t talk.

Julius’s wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day…

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars? Little Seizures.

The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”

Why can’t he just speak plain English?

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad) and to make the best salad you stab it 23 times until the CAESAR salad, Romaine Salad, is fresh.

what are the kids addicted to these days ? Juulius Caesar (juuls)

where does caesar keep his armies up his sleavies