How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty three times.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?¨

You reply with: ¨Surrounded by friends¨

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?

Roman noodles

If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day…

What did Caesar’s cat say to him?

Nothing. Cats don’t talk.

Julius’s wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”

Why can’t he just speak plain English?

where does caesar keep his armies up his sleavies