Caesar jokes
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier? “Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
It's Caesar salad.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.