Caesar

Caesar Jokes

Rome

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

  • 5
  • Romaine

    What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

    The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.

  • 2
  • Julius Caesar

    You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

    You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

  • 5
  • Salad

    How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

    Stab it twenty-three times.

  • 8
  • Seizure

    What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

    Little Seizures.

  • 0
  • Woman

    What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

    โ€œGuards! Seize her (Caesar)!โ€

    Martini

    Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

    The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

    Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

    Julius Caesar

    How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

    With a pair of Caesars! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ

    Salad

    How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

    Salad

    Cesar: What was that good salad called?

    Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

    Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

    Servant: Hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

    Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

    Movie

    What did the cow ๐Ÿ„ watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ–ฅ