Law jokes
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.