Politics

Politics jokes

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

Trump

I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

Democrat

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.

IKEA

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Incest

Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.

With their brother.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.