Politics jokes
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
I showed my family a few Charlie Kirk debates.
They called him a pain in the neck.
OK, bye.
What is the motto of left-wing authoritarianism?
We don't have one, so you don't need one.
Which game do socialists hate the most?
Monopoly.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Alberta.
The only province where the Premier wears anal beads around her neck.
My Premier is so fat she has her own gravitational pull.
Trump and Anakin Skywalker have something in common: they’ve both killed a lot of sand people.
Once I saw a retard and an Alberta separatist having a conversation.
Well, actually, it was just the Alberta separatist talking to himself.
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.
Donald Trump is so smart he got to take a cognitive test 4 times.
And if you think that's impressive, wait until you hear how many times he got to retake first grade.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"