Politics jokes
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
Obama has dih.
But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
I think DJT has FTD.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something good.