Politics jokes
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
What is the difference between Reform and Restore UK?
The Name.
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
What do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, and Rashida Tlaib all have in common?
All four of them are garbage.
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.