Overeating jokes
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.