Overeating jokes

Blood

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

Soldier

My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.

Seed

Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.

Soup

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Emo kid

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

Orphan

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Twin

"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"

Floor

Denki: Did you just... fall over?

Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

Sero: Backwards?

Bakugo: I'm talented.

Identity

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

Cop

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Russia

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

Plane

What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."

Mamma

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Bank

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Head

Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.

The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.

Doctor

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

Cow

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!