Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonalds.
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. ( Titanic sinks. )
what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
they both look good hanging from a tree
My brother called me short and ugly so i called him an ambulance.
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
Your hairline looks like they Mac Donald’s sign M
yo hairline over here lookin like the Nile River
You look good with anything, but nothing works too
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"
Your hairline is so long when you finally found the length of your hairline you told it to some one and they said don’t give me your phone number
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption appear on April fools the just leve them there at the orphanage APRIL FOOLS!
