Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common? Neither of them respect boundaries.
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
Where animal does Russian milk come from?
moscows
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants ? Because Chernobyl fallout .
Why is Russia invading Ukraine? «Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you
Question; Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism? Answer; Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
