The 80+ Best Russia Jokes

Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.

England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.

Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

Why are Trump's ties so long?

Because they go all the way to Russia.

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?

Ivana Pulyova

Welcome to the gulag

Q .What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregn A. Has an a bosch tion

So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.

In Soviet Russia, You love Chinese and hate Chinese

in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade "refresh yourself with a cold war."

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common? Neither of them respect boundaries.

Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.

What is are Russia's favorite netball positions?

Goal Shooter and Wing Attack

We love russia we do we love russia we do we love russia we do oh russia we love you 🇷🇺

honestly ukraine is just built to annoy russia

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat Vehicles and Tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.