Russia jokes
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
"Welcome to the gulag."
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.