Russia

Russia Jokes

Road

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."

Tie

Why are Trump's ties so long?

Because they go all the way to Russia.

  • 3
  • Gulag

    In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

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  • Gay sex

    In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

    In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

    Country

    In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

    Name

    What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?

    Ivana Pulyova.

    Boundary

    What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

    Neither of them respect boundaries.

    Ukraine

    Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

    Invasion

    Why is Russia invading Ukraine?

    ยซะœั‹ ั…ะพั‚ะธะผ ะฒะตั€ะฝัƒั‚ัŒ ะกะพะฒะตั‚ัะบะธะน ะกะพัŽะท!ยป

    Soviet Russia

    A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you donโ€™t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

    Abortion

    Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

    A. Has an abortion.

    Sport

    What are Russia's favorite netball positions?

    Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.

    Wwii

    If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

    Bet

    Ukraine (๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ) vs Russia (๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ), place your bets!