Overeating jokes
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke, but it would probably go over your head.
The Twin Towers: No, it won’t.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Denki: Did you just... fall over?
Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.
Sero: Backwards?
Bakugo: I'm talented.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"