A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months. At the funeral, a man see the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man look at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
-a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide-
a homeless man walks by her and says "what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump"
the homeless man says "if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh.. I thought you saw inside the basement.."
"Wait, wha.."
"What?"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!". The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child if you don't believe me I can pop my trunk
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
When the Boogey-man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
