Homicide jokes

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"

How did the gay girl die? Homicide.

Please don't kill [me].

How did the lesbian die? Homicide.

How did the gay man die? Homicide.

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

Killing someone is better than killing yourself.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.