I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
