A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
Man Jokes
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.