Man Jokes

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man bisexual

A depressed man was caught on top of the empire state building with marijuana, needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar. Twins

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy "What's going on here!?" He exclaims. The wife replies "See, I told you he was stupid."

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs, i replied "OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR FUCKING ARMS!"

There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says "why is a young man like you smoking?". The man turns around and says "why the fuck are you wearing trainers...."

A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

A very rich and famous comedian walked in to a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - This vodka isn't good enough for you. - If it is good enough for you it is gudonov for me!

Monkey Man's mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.

Why did the man fall into a well ? He couldn’t see that well

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.

IDK

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!