Male jokes
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
Woah, nice cock.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.