Breast

Breast Jokes

Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it." Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

Why are women like KFC?

After youā€™ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

A little girl beinng Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"

Priest: "What did you do Child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ā€˜I hope you donā€™t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?ā€.

ā€™About 32,ā€™ is the reply.ā€™

ā€˜Nope! Iā€™m exactly 50,ā€™ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonaldā€™s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ā€˜Iā€™d guess about 29.ā€™ The woman replies with a big smile, ā€˜Nope, Iā€™m 50.ā€™

Now sheā€™s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, ā€˜Oh, Iā€™d say 30.ā€™

Again she proudly responds, ā€˜Iā€™m 50, but thank you!ā€™

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, ā€˜Lady, Iā€™m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.ā€™

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ā€˜What the hell, go ahead.ā€™

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ā€˜Okay, okay.....How old am I?ā€™

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ā€˜Madam, you are 50.ā€™

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ā€˜That was incredible, how could you tell?ā€™

ā€˜I was behind you at McDonaldsā€™.

Q:What do women and kfc have in common A:once you eat the breasts and thighs all you have left is a greasey box to put ur bone in

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."

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One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts youā€™re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

What do women and KFC have in common? After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

A girl goes to a Church to confess.....

Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest : "What have you done my child?"

Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest : "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl : "Because he touched my hand."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl : "Then he touched my breast."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl : "Yes father."

Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest : "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl : "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

(after a few minutes)

Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl : "But father, he had AIDS!"

Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Why is women like KFC after u finish with the thigh and the breasts all u have left us the greasy box to put your bone in

A little girl walks into the bathroom see her mom naked taking a shower and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get breasts ..mom say oh when your 12 or 13 ..little girl looks down and seeā€™s her pubes and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get hair down there ..mom say oh about the same time you get breasts..then the little girl walks in see her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks daddy daddy when am I gunna get one of those ..dad says soon as your mom leaves for work

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