Man jokes
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.