Man jokes
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:
A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.
B. That men are actually treated unequally.
SO
we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."