Giant

Giant jokes

Mom

  • My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

    We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

    Abuse

  • When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

    When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

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  • Basketball

  • When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

    My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

    He didn't realize what was about to happen.

    "That's what she said!"

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  • Appearance

  • What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

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  • Dude

  • A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

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  • Submarine

  • Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

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  • Pillow

  • I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!

    Trap

  • The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

    Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.