Giant jokes
Uranus is a gas giant.
What do you call Snoop Dogg’s giant turd?
Poop Logg.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Elephant
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.