Man jokes
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
Leo be like: "I like men, yes."
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Memes
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."