Movie

Movie Jokes

Cast

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

Titanic

My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha

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  • Sequence

    Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

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  • Psycho

    I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

    Grave

    I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

    Hotel

    "Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

    Theater

    Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

    A: They were both shot in a theater.

    Orphan

    What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)

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  • People

    I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

    (Extra Cholesterol)

    Harry Potter

    Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

    Horror

    There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

    It's called "Unplugged!"

    Family

    So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

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  • Christmas

    You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

    I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.