600+ Movie Jokes

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.

My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Tony, am I ugly?

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?

No, because it never came out...

What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

They are making a movie about clocks.

It’s about time.

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

"Coincidence on 34th Street."

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."